Thursday, March 15, 2012

Seed

Counseling.

I've only been twice, but I would pay double for what I am getting at this point. And some of it feels to deep to even try to articulate, but just the shift in perspective is refreshing. And having someone be gut-level honest with you in a way that hurts, but is unconditionally loving at the same time is truly priceless. And surprisingly not offensive.

And I love Marcy because she makes no excuses for why I am where I am. And in some ways she has also deterred me from focusing on what is coming. Because I'm not there, I'm here.

And it's okay to have a season where I'm being pulled away from the crowds. Because there is intentionality and purpose in that. And sometimes noise makes it hard to hear.

But it is so hard when I'm in a season of separation, and others are not.

I thrive on connecting with friends. I thrive on spending hours and hours with people, running errands, talking on the phone, working out, watching TV shows and movies, going out to dinner, and just 'being' together. So being called to a different season than those around me, and also realizing that they may never be in this season that I'm in, is probably the hardest adjustment. And unfortunately, if they are not in this season, nor have they been in this season, their advice and thoughts on how to manage it may or may not be helpful. And that's not a bad thing. It just means that it is all the important for me to focus on my heart-to-heart connect with God. And not let other people and their experience shade what this season is supposed to look like for me.

So I leave you with this picture:


Even the tallest of the redwoods had to start as a seed within the earth. And when the seed was ready, it could move out of the soil and into the light. But not before the incubation period where it soaked in nutrients and developed its roots. So here's to soaking in nutrients and learning to dig deeply into the soil.

Thanks for all of your encouragement and patience with me. I hope that there are pieces of my journey that you can take with you and apply to your own life. Love love.




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