Monday, March 16, 2015

I would blog more if I didn't have to make up titles.

I would venture to say that the first rule of blogging is to never talk about how crappy you are at blogging. Also never commit to posting more than you actually will, because really, no one likes liars. 

Now is the moment where I wrestle with whether or not to tell you something true or something witty. So let's do both.

First things first, I've read a few books. The weirdest (and longest) being The Hundred-Year-Old Man Who Climbed Out the Window and Disappeared. But luckily I've recovered, taken a bunch of pictures, tried Blue Moon's new peach ale, and fearlessly made it through an ob/gyn appointment (without tears. Please, send me all the awards). I watched every episode of the Bachelor season 23048203498, taught Rowan how to clap, and hired a house-cleaner. Patrick was about to slay me over the state of our house, and who can blame him. It was horrendous. 

I started a new role at work that I am completely in love with. Moreso because it allows for better friendships with my team, AND MY TEAM IS THE BOMB. But seriously, you should work at Pardot. We had cupcakes today. And Jimmy John's. And breakfast catered from somewhere fabulous. You can play video games, write on the walls, have a beer, and talk to people about marketing. Or coding. But I talk about marketing, because HTML, woof.

On a more serious note, I've recently become impressed with the fact that people have both a true self and a false self. The true self is who you actually are deep down. Your gut-level honest self. But your false self is the one that is interpreting what people want you to be or how they expect you to act, and then catering your behavior to that. 

We get into trouble with these concepts when we live so heavily as our false self, that we either A) don't know who our true self is any longer, or B) we've built an entire life and relationships around someone that we actually aren't. The hard thing about option B) is that to get back to your true self, it means undoing some unhealthy relationships, re-orienting your job or certain responsibilities, changing the hobbies you invest in, altering the way you talk or think about things or people, etc. And a lot of people can get hurt in that process because they've fallen in love with your false self, not your true one, and when you start to let your real colors shine through, those relationships can't look the same any longer. Not because you don't like the other person, but because the entire connection was based upon things that weren't real.

And in the South we easily get caught up in the "southern hospitality" mindset, and gradually compromise those things that we really think/believe for the sake of niceness. So I think we probably fall most victim to this struggle.

So my challenge to you is this: be the true you. Don't say what you think people want to hear, don't agree to something you don't want to do or don't feel right about. The more honest you are, the more authentic your relationships can be and the deeper they can go. If you won't face how you really feel, you can't actually get the help or attention you need most.