Monday, September 16, 2013

Speaking Life into the Dust

If you want to know the answer
 to the bigger question– what’s God’s plan for the whole world?
Buckle up: it’s us.
Bob Goff

To me, this trip felt different than any other. And to be honest it has been the first time in a year and a half where I actually felt like I had something to give. Counseling has made me feel like even the good and beautiful things about me have been stripped down to the bone.  But somewhere along the way, the walls started getting rebuilt, and layers of skin and muscle started forming. And it was this trip to Kenya that showed me who I have grown up to be. 

I don't feel like I grew up watching healthy, authentic female relationships. I've always longed for examples of those things, because I want to know how to be strong and courageous, yet intimate and kind. And not knowing what that looked like for me has made me feel somewhat aimless. But as the Lord stripped down, and began the process of restoring the ruins of my heart, I would catch glimpses of the 'grown-up' me. The one that isn't afraid to cry, or ask for prayer, or share what is really going on in my heart. I've always feared the judgement over those things, but at the end of the day, I think those are the things that make me stand out. 

The group of women I was with in Kenya helped me see that I already am. I might feel in progress, but I'm not any longer. I know exactly who I am, and I am free to be that. Not who someone else is, but who I am. I've watched for years and years, not realizing that God was stitching and breathing into my lungs and whispering to my heart that I already am. I am complete. And I am fully and abundantly loved, and I am free to give and to love well, and to be strength for someone else.

And that is what I got to do in Kenya. Be strength for other women, empower them, and speak life into the dust. 

And I am so grateful for this great well of experience. 

Monday, September 2, 2013

The City of Dreams

If you know me, then you know I love the city. All cities. I love the energy and excitement and busyness and people-watching. Everything about a city brightens me from the inside, and tells me that anything is possible. Cities are where things happen. Big things, like dreams and revelation and relationship. So when I get the chance to dip my toe into one of these magical places, my excitement goes through the roof. 

Hence this very wondrous trip to New York City, the "City of Dreams."  Where we dined at the Fig & Olive, biked Central Park and the Hudson River, had a shake at Shake Shack, milk and cookies from Momofuku, and saw the city from above at 30 Rock. We strolled through Times Square, watched the loading and unloading in front of Radio City Music Hall, and had amazing wine at Osteria Cotta. This trip was lovely and perfect, and so were the beautiful friends we spent time with there. These trips always remind me to be adventurous. And to do things I wouldn't normally do. Be more open-minded. Be more gracious and understanding. Find value in new things. 

To travel is the experience of ceasing to be 
the person you are trying to be, 
and becoming the person 
you really are. 
Paulo Coelho