Since the trip I feel totally different. I see God differently. I worship differently. I do my job differently. But I'm at a place now where in some places I feel unnaturally secure, and in others I feel completely out of place. There is only one worship song I want to listen to and it only has one line "Your Kingdom come Your will be done, on earth as it is in heaven." It takes everything in me to not weep uncontrollably when I hear it. This was a song that we sang in ****** that revealed the depths of the hunger that the people had there. Hunger for ******. Hunger for Muslims. Hunger for the things of God. And their hunger was ravenous. Their worship was mesmerizing. I feel like they are at a place that I yearn to go. Their worship is uninhibited. They cry, they shout, they dance, they jump. They want to see the Kingdom manifested on this earth more than I've ever thought possible. How they function day to day is a great mystery to me. Just thinking about them sucks me into a place with God that I don't want to leave. I can't leave. I MUST HAVE MORE. I can't let Him go! It's too risky to look away. To consider something other than the Presence.
When I think of ****** its hard to hold myself together. I think about their worship and devotion. I think about their faces and their prayers. I've never seen hunger like that before. Does it even exist in the States? I need to find it. I need it like oxygen.