Italia and then some

For mine and Patrick's FIFTH anniversary (dang, where did the time go!?), we have bought tickets to visit the most beautiful country in the world...

ITALY.

Going to Italy has been a dream of ours ever since I can remember.

And Julia Roberts really sealed the deal for me in Eat, Pray, Love through her attractive male friends and 'no carb left behind' policy. Who doesn't want to go somewhere that is strictly known for its beauty, wine, pizza, and cappaccinos? I'm not quite sure how they stay so thin and beautiful with such high pasta consumption, but I fully intend to investigate. And by investigate I mean eat everything in sight and wear stretchable leggings every day, on the off chance that my pants will stop fitting by day 3. Surely you're not taking advantage of Italy if your pants still fit by the end of the week.

But I digress...

This will probably be our last big trip before we start incorporating children into the family, AND IT CANNOT GET HERE FAST ENOUGH. I'm jumping out of my pants excited over this, and can't wait to take advantage of this country of such immense and stunning beauty!!! Come on March! I've never been so excited about you.

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In other news...life without HaRim is hard. We feel like true empty-nesters and have subsequently read a lot of books, watched all of our DVR, and re-organized our closets. I bought some extra magazines, did some wash, lamented cooking because I was cooking for 2 and not 3, and I got some links taken out of my watch. Annnddd I also framed a few pictures. And by a few I mean 5.

All because I've had time to do those things. 

But at the end of the day, I'm so incredibly grateful for the time we had with Harim. And I'm glad that he is happy and thriving and had a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity to live on his own for 3 months at 15. You learn a lot about yourself by living on your own, and we're blessed to have gotten to see him step into more of himself. 

2013 Resolution

And less everyone else.

Bittersweet Good-byes

This morning we took our precious HaRim to the airport to fly home to Korea. We know how excited he is to go back to the more familiar things, but we were of course devastated to watch him go through security and turn left around the corner to his gate. We know that this is only the beginning of our journey as friends, so we are hopeful for the many years to come. But today was still a sad day, with hundreds of tears shed and hugs given.

We celebrated HaRim last night with 20 of his friends, and a handful of our friends who have gotten to spend some time with him during his stay. Watching him be loved on by everyone was so beautiful. It was obvious to us that his friends see all the greatness in him that we see, and were elated to honor him with us.

I wish I could adequately articulate who HaRim is to you, if you didn't get a chance to meet him. His heart is huge, which is shown through the dozens of cards he's written us, the piano songs he learned, the meals he's cooked, and the dish washing that he helped with almost every night. He asked about curse words and pop music, birth control and drinking. He tried every food put in front of him, took our recommendations at restaurants, tried his first cup of coffee, prayed for our future children, and enabled us to push the doors of our home open a little further (which you never feel comfortable doing until someone makes you).

He continually gave of himself to serve our home and family, and in the most simple but meaningful ways.

We couldn't keep secrets from each other because HaRim told them all, which made us all a little bit more kind and a little bit more sincere with our words. We knew that he was watching us, and would ask if we were mad if we were quiet for too long. He'd wonder if we were ever sad or lonely, and would pray for anyone he heard of going through a difficult time. He was observant, and always looking for who he wanted to be in every situation.

He never withheld a compliment, and always made it a point to tell me when I looked beautiful. We heard him share with his friends how loved he is and what awesome American parents he has. We sang for him so he could learn tunes to piano songs, we taught him how to do wash, and we let him teach us how to fully love someone as if he's your own.

Unfortunately we did laugh a time or two at his expense. But we at least made an effort to explain when we could. Yes, you need to decorate yourself for dinner. No, you have to use soap when you clean the dishes, not lotion. And yes, you do have to put soap in the washing machine. Yeah, we're going to need to cook that bacon a little longer. America doesn't eat raw meat. Yes, we need to wash your pants. 5 weeks is too long without clean clothes. No, we don't need another bowl of ramen noodles, anchovies, or squid, but yes, we'll always help you try a new recipe. No, seaweed is not our favorite, but we love your fried rice and cooked peppers. Yes, 'damn it' is a bad word. No you can't take a flask on your retreat for your juice. 

We are so ready for our own babies, and having HaRim made our hearts hope even more for that dream to be realized. We truly love HaRim more than anything in this world, and know that our lives will never be the same again. The home and family he helped us build will be a part of our children, and a part of our children's children. Patrick and I are richly blessed, and love that you got to take this journey with us.

Love you all!

Tears

So much is distilled in our tears...I have learned that if you follow your tears, you will find your heart. And if you find your heart, you will find what is dear to God. And if you find what is dear to God, you will find the answer to how you should live your life. 


-Ken Gire

Make-up Updates

In a vain attempt to update my make-up, I watched some tutorials online for how to better highlight and contour my face. Am I going to a party? Nope. Am I dressing up for the red carpet? Nah. I'm just realizing that it has been entirely too long since I updated my make-up brushed up on my make-up techniques. And rumor has it you should consider yourself out of style if you haven't made an update to your look in at least 5 years. Ouch. So I decided that maybe its time to re-visit Sephora and get some tips from the pros. 

So I did just that. In an effort to update my look, and figure out if what I'm using is really best for me and the coverage I want. 

And here are the products that made it to my shopping bag:

1. Benefit's Sun Beam highlighter: This was a little extra sample that I got in my bag, but I really love it. I'll use it over top of the concealer around my eyes to add a little bit more shimmer. If my skin was a tad bit tanner, it would be perfect on its own, but I needed the concealer to play the middleman so I didn't look like my eyes had been to the tanning bed.

2. Benefit's Coralista blush: When learning how to highlight and contour my face (which I'd never heard of until Pinterest), this was one of the products that was recommended...plus its a Victoria's Secret go-to. So you would hear no argument from me. There are only 2-3 colors, but they are light and shimmery which makes it easy for any skin type to wear it.  

3. Maybelline's illuminating concealer: This little guy came from Target, and quickly made me feel more 'put-together'. Not sure how a concealer/highlighter can do that, but trust me, its awesome. I use this around the inside of my eyes, just under the outer part of my brow, down my nose, and a little bit around my lips. I'm amazed at how a little bit of light-ness can make your features pop.

4. Benefit's Hoola bronzer: This is another item that can work for any skin color. I learned that the trick with a bronzer like this is to have it be matte, rather than have a sheen to it. The goal is to create more definition in your cheekbones and around your nose. I was impressed with how easy it is to draw attention to certain features or minimize others depending on what features you want to accent. Unfortunately I have not yet mastered this art, but I'm practicing. :)

5. Smashbox Color Correcting primer: This stuff is definitely green, but is meant to smooth your skin, remove any redness, and absorb any oil in your skin so that it doesn't hurt your make-up. I saw this bottle and thought it would be absurd to put on my skin, but after the woman at Sephora tried it on my face I was completely dumb-founded. My skin has so much redness to it that I LOVED the way this cream evened out my skin-tone. Without any powder, foundation, blush, etc. my face was already looking better. 

Do you have any go-to products that you really enjoy? I'm on the market for new ideas and updates, so give me your best stuff.

Happy shopping (and updating)!

Changing the World

"People who really want to make a difference in the world usually do it, in one way or another. And I've noticed something about people who make a difference in the world: They hold the unshakable conviction that individuals are extremely important, that every life matters. They get excited over one smile. They are willing to feed one stomach, educate one mind, and treat one wound. They aren't determined to revolutionize the world all at once; they're satisfied with small changes. Over time, though, the small changes add up. Sometimes they even transform cities and nations, and yes, the world." - Kisses from Katie

Dreaming of Africa

One of my favorite memories was from May of 2007. It was my second week in Karatina, Kenya, and we were spending some time at a rural school. The temperature was warm, but not unbearable despite our proximity to the equator. Each day was spent in schools, orphanages, homes, or in fields with frisbees or soccer balls. This day was spent listening in on an African classroom, and organizing fun games and activities for the kids during their breaks.

When you're in Kenya, or probably in any African nation, white people are not very common. Especially the further you go out into the bush. Sometimes kids would hide behind their parents if you made them uneasy, but others would come bounding up to you and want to pat your hands and touch your hair and kiss your cheeks. I remember one specific girl at the school that day. She had some sort of mental delay, but was the giggliest girl I've ever heard. She danced everywhere she walked, and wanted to be continually tickled. 

She sat on my lap throughout her school lessons, but if you moved her or touched her in a certain way, she would crack up. It was kind of like how I feel when I play "Honey if you loved me, would you please, please smile." People can't even get to me before tears are rolling down my cheeks. 

That's how this girl was. Joyful. Happy. Energetic, and just so excited to be where she was. To be holding someone's hand whom she'd never met. To be listening to stories and math lessons, and to be tickled by the slightest movement of my body. At one point she had to go to the bathroom, and I heard her laughing the whole way, screeching in delight at the thought of what she was doing that day with complete strangers. The picture below shows her listening to another villagers ringtone on his phone. She laughed and danced, playing the tones over and over until tears streamed down her sweet face. 

I think we have a misunderstanding of Africans. We so easily see them as poor and destitute, when in reality, we are the ones that are poor. They are the ones who are truly rich. They possess an inexplicable joy and contentment with their lives, and are so grateful for the rains, the animals, and their land. They're grateful for the one beautiful skirt that they have, or the pile of sticks in the field that can be turned into a game. They're grateful that they have food to share today, not that they might not have food for tomorrow. They are generous and warm, and I don't know that I've ever known a season of such great peace than when I was in Kenya. Their hearts bled into mine. Their peace and excitement and love were infectious. I felt at home there in a way I've never felt in America. And maybe it was because they know the value of life, and appreciate it so fondly. 

What's been stirring my heart for Africa lately is Kisses from Katie. A beautiful story about an 18 year-old girl that picks up her life in 2007 and moves to Uganda. She's adopted 14 children, and spends day after day loving the least of these. Tending to wounds, filling hungry bellies, and worshiping with children kneeling beside her. Her story reminds me so much of me, and my heart and my desire for the nations. I feel like Katie is helping me wake up from years of sleeping, and pulling me back to the true reality of the Kingdom. Of loving. Of tending sheep. Of making a difference in one life at a time. 

I also had the honor of sending Frankie to Kenya yesterday. Reading her first blog post on Kenyan soil made me excited for the life-changing experience she's about to have. The kind of experience that will never part with heart, and will leave her longing to stay a little longer, have one more cup of coffee, and  dive a little deeper into God's presence. These beautiful women who are doing amazing things inspire me. And remind me that Africa and the world is still a part of my heart. And I can still make a difference.

Book Reviews: The Girl With the Dragon Tattoo and Gone Girl

The Girl With the Dragon Tattoo: This book was intense, y'all. Not necessarily full of twists and turns, but definitely an edge-of-your-seat thriller.

I had heard that the movies were violent, so I hesitated in starting this book because I didn't want to read page after page of sexual violence. And to some degree people were right, but Stieg Larsson was extremely short-winded in those scenes, and developed no attachment in me to those specific characters. So that meant I could read 'from a distance', yet still experience the gravity of the story.

The writing was quickly paced, and the characters were original and quirky.  I'd be interested in knowing what it was in Larsson's background that made him understand the ins and outs of serial rapists and their strategies in capturing their next victim. The thought in that regard blew my mind. I hope the next books are as explosive and multi-dimensional as this one. Definitely worth your time.

Gone Girl: This book I have VERY mixed feelings for. If I could write a response to the first 90% of the book and the last 10% of the story, I would. Because they felt like completely separate stories and authors.

Gillian Flynn became one of my new favorite authors within the first 50 pages. She is brilliant, and just twisted enough that her stories and characters are 100% unpredictable. The book FLEW by, but came to a screeching halt about 90% of the way through when you realize what the ending will be. And the ending is so completely disappointing, that you wonder if the book was worth reading for that kind of let-down. You put too much energy into the book for the ending not to completely ruin the experience.

Overall did I like it? Yes, very much.

Would I recommend it? Eh. If you can stomach the ending. 

Adventures in 15-year-old Boys

So, we love HaRim. 

In a BIG way. 

And couldn't imagine our lives these days without him. He makes us laugh until we cry, and sometimes asks questions that make us incredibly uncomfortable - wondering whether his parents realized that they hadn't had much of "the talk" with him before passing him along to us. Yes, you assume correctly. 

This weekend he inquired about how people keep from having a baby. And Patrick patiently sat while I squirmed in my seat, trying to figure out how on earth to break the news to him. You know, the news about birth control.

Sensing my hesitation, HaRim gently reminded me "It's okay, I'm old enough. You can tell me."

Which made my armpits sweat a little bit more, and I might have peed in my pants a little bit. 

Sweet, sweet HaRim. The light of our lives. Having to introduce birth control to a child that you know should have learned it from his parents, his older brother, school... anyone but me really. Because I do not yet have answers for these questions. In fact, I might not ever have answers to these questions.

"Well HaRim, there is a pill you can take" was all I could muster. 

"Does it kill the baby?"

"No, you take it every day, kind of like a vitamin. So when you're ready to have a baby, you stop taking it." I couldn't bear to introduce his other options - the pill just seemed to be the most "kid" friendly in my mind. Not like any birth control is "kid-friendly". 

But I think he got the hint that I was uncomfortable. And being a baby about having "adult" conversations. 

But I only feel 16! I don't feel 27. I can't be expected to act like an age that I don't feel, Right? Gosh, I'm such a kid! And have zero maturity. In fact, I pleaded with Patrick (albeit silently) to save me from this conversation. And you know what? He wouldn't do it. He let me 'man up' all on my own. Jerk.

So enjoy the comments below that HaRim has made recently that we've found funny. But recognize that none were as awkward and funny as our talk on birth control. 

"I think my fat is too heavy"

"Do I need to decorate myself for dinner?"

"You know we have same baby taste"

"I practiced Piano Man, and added my own POW POW POW"

"Bailey is a big cat. I've never seen one like her. She's very special."

After falling over Lucy, he said "Yeah, that was kind of strange. And kind of hurt. If I was grandpa I would die."

"She made me a large back. I mean, she spread my back." Umm that's what she said?

Giving Back

Christmas is a time of generosity, kindness, and love. And most people want to be creative in their gift giving, yet they don't know where to start, especially if you're hoping to give more than just a gift.

There are some incredible gifts this year that will not only impress those receiving, but will also impact the world for the better. Take a look at these items/services and continue putting your money to something bigger and better this year. 

Each one of these gifts has the potential to radically change a life.

1. World Vision gives you the opportunity to give a gift that keeps on giving. Purchasing a goat, chicken, or any combination of farm animals for a family gives them a chance to not only provide for themselves (through milk, eggs, etc.), but to also sell extra eggs, chicks, or milk to help pay for the basics of daily life. Prices range from $16-2,500.

2. Pecans on Peachtree helps raise money for patient-related programs at The Shepherd Center through the selling of Georgia-grown pecans. The Shepherd Center is one of the top 10 rehabilitation centers in the nation, and specializes in medical treatment, research, and rehabilitation for people with spinal cord injury, brain injury, multiple sclerosis and other neuromuscular disorders.

3. If you're familiar with the Hutu and Tutsi tribes in Rwanda, then you should also become familiar with Land of a Thousand Hills coffee. Land of a Thousand Hills has brought together these life-long enemies to work on coffee plantations throughout the country. The Forgiveness School is a school being built in Rwanda in order to foster the continued reconciliation of these two tribes. Be a part of the Forgiveness Wins campaign by purchasing a square foot of the Forgiveness School. 

4. Sevenly's goal is to "harness the power of art and community to build sustainable awareness and fund movements that support charities in their efforts to change the world." Each week you can purchase clothing, and $14 will go towards the charity being sponsored that week. Charities of the past include Knots of Love, Autism or cancer research, and sex-trafficking awareness. 

5. The goal of Heifer International is to work with communities to end hunger and poverty. Through Heifer International, you can purchase anything from an animal to clean water to education for a child to a knitter's gift basket. Their approach is holistic and directed at sustainable solutions that impact whole communities.

6. The Invisible Children is an organization that is working to raise awareness of the LRA in Uganda. They have a variety of products that go towards the betterment of Uganda, and the disarming of Joseph Kony and the LRA from abducting and killing civilians at an alarming rate.   

7. Plywood People is a seller of fair trade goods, all of which are under $50 and support different US craftspeople and companies.

8. International Justice Mission is a human rights agency that brings rescue to victims of slavery, sexual exploitation, and other forms of violent oppression. This year you can buy an 'Aftercare Package' for someone who has recently been rescued from the sex slave trade. Another gift idea is for $24, you can pay for IJM workers to be present in a community one more day in the hopes of rescuing women and children in one of these harmful environments. 

9. TOMS - Through the purchase of one pair of shoes, you donate a pair of shoes to someone in need. 

Merry Christmas and happy shopping!