Over the last two years, I have been a student at Bethel School of Supernatural Ministry. I finished the second-year program this past May and have been challenged with the idea that I must now learn to "burn alone." It's been 6 months since I graduated, so I've had some time to see if I was really up to that challenge.
One thing that Bethel focuses very heavily on teaching is identity. Starting first with what God says about you through Scripture, then moving into what He says about you in your alone time with Him. So many believers have not learned how to live out of who GOD says that they are. God said that we are dearly loved children. We can do all things through Him. We are good. We are whole. We are meant to do the "greater things."
It took awhile for some of this to start sinking in, but as it did I started to realize that God created me to be different. To have a unique set of skills and talents that no one else had. I had always known that I had a control problem, I liked to plan details, I could put an event together 10 minutes flat, and I liked to work and talk with people. ALL. THE. TIME. It never occurred to me that there was a reason I had all those skills.
So Bethel started acknowledging that those talents of mine were not only present, but that they were actually useful. And they started telling me what God said about them, and how God wanted to use them. Now this was new for me because I figured I was wired in a specific way, but that that didn't matter. My unique "wiring" could just make some tasks harder or easier to do, but the abilities themselves were not of any relevant importance. But as I started to realize what my skills and talents were, and how to leverage them, I immediately became more confident and fulfilled day-to-day.
So not only had my community at church brought these gifts and talents to the surface, they allowed me to actually start using them. Last December I planned my first real conference (800ish people) and last spring I was able to plan my first mission trip to the Middle East. I loved finally being able to do "jobs" that I was actually wired to do.
So starting last November, I began having dreams of being pregnant and going into labor early. Week after week I'd have these dreams, and they'd all be slightly different. The first few had me going into labor in December (which was when my first conference was, but I was 4-5 months early). Throughout the following months I still dreamed of being pregnant, but not necessarily going into labor any more.
People at ministry school were also having dreams and getting words about pregnancy, so I knew God was obviously birthing something in me that was pretty significant.
When I realized that I was 5 months early (still all in dream world- I am NOT actually pregnant), I looked at the dates to see what 5 months ahead of the conference was, and it was the day I was leaving for the Middle East, on the first trip I had ever planned. December 11 was the conference, May 11 was the day we left for the Middle East.
In ministry school, we did a lot of exercises concerning our dreams. We'd write them out, pick out words and phrases that were significant to us, and create a purpose statement. Throughout this time I started to realize that I wanted to plan trips, and lead and develop teams on the mission field. That would be my dream job if I had one. I wanted to reach every nation, and what better way than through planning trips and sending out teams.
So like I said in my previous post, I'm starting a new job in 2 weeks. And this is the job that I've literally been dreaming about. I'll be planning mission trips, and periodically leading teams to the mission field. This job is exactly what I have dreamed of doing, and the cool thing is that there are hundreds of other details about this new company that line up 100% with what I want and what I've been praying about for so long. I feel so blessed and honored to be given this opportunity!!!
At church yesterday, one of our pastors got up and said "This is the year for dreams to manifest. It is time to birth the baby" - which she followed with several different metaphors for birthing a child. As if the Spirit couldn't be more clear- this is my season to birth something that has been in me for so long. To step into who I'm called and equipped to be. To rise up in my true identity and radiate the goodness of God to all of His children.
I can and I will change the world and disciple nations.