Monday, September 26, 2011

Donald Miller Would be Disappointed

I'm trying to figure myself out these days. In a post that will come much later, I'll explain the ups and downs of that, and what my insides truly look like when I feel like my hearts been put through a meat grinder on high and then roasted in a Big Green Egg for 6 8 hours. But that post is not this post. Sorry.

This post is me asking myself some hard questions. Am I really doing all that I want to do? Am I viewing life as a grand adventure and choosing to live the story of each day? Am I investing well in my relationships? Who do I need to invest in more, and who needs to invest in me? By buying a house did I anchor myself down so much so that I can't still pursue things I want to pursue? Or is my house a catalyst for relationship development and change?

Sheesh. Someone must have turned on the "adult" switch in my brain this morning. 

But seriously. I have some dear friends (who yes I am VERY jealous of and am actively ignoring the 10th commandment) who just moved to Cambridge, MA to get their MBA. And I look at pictures of these beautiful people on this grand life adventure together and wonder what dream am I living? And yes, buying a house is a great dream realized. Having a husband, a 2 pet flock of animals, a yard, a neighborhood, and a great Church community are also wonderful pieces of my dreams as well. But this is more of a "stay put" season, rather than a "go get 'em" season. And sometimes I want the best of both of those worlds. How do I see the world, touch nations, and let the vastness of the world sink into my skin when I have a dog that needs to be taken out to the bathroom and a yard that needs mowing?

At some point I need to dig into the value and meaning of this season. When the Israelites crossed into the Promised Land, the battles were fought differently. The mentality had to be shifted from "captivity" to "freedom." So that is my goal in this next season. To find value. To develop relationships. GOOD authentic and accountable relationships. To see how to shift my mindset to embrace freedom and promise. And to use this season as a step forward. 

In conclusion, I'll leave you with a quote from one of my favorite people: Amy Poehler.

1 comment:

tanaconner said...

this is good mary. really good.
encouraged by your journey!