the confident-ish woman

So, I'm going through this book (circa 1960) and it's practically kicking my butt. And I'm only done with chapter 2. But the weird thing is that none of the lessons in it are new to me. None of the Scripture, none of the stories...I've heard it all. But for some reason I'm receiving it all in a new way in this season. Things I never thought I struggled with I have come to realize are the roots and causes of so many of my frustrations and insecurities. Maybe it was just pride that made me push certain things like performance and control out of the way, but let me tell you. I shouldn't have pushed any of it away. These things have reared their ugly faces at me with a vengeance and its going to take a mighty act of God to clear those suckers out.

The good news is that once you start to identify whats going on in your heart, and what your mindsets and tendencies are, its way easier to tackle them. Now, I haven't quite gotten to the easy part yet, but I trust that it's on its way. :) Jk. I'm not expecting any of this bid-ness to be easy, but I hope and pray that its rewarding and helps improve all of my relationships. I wish I could go spend a few weeks apart from everyone and work out my junk, and then return to everyone a new and changed person. But I think God keeps you in your current stage of life so that you can practice lessons as you learn them. And slowly find ways to build them into your day-to-day life. Ugh. Sounds easier than it is.

So cheers to you Anabel Gillham, Carly Ward and Hayley Bidez.

And apple and brie sandwiches to make the time more enjoyable, despite all my crap hitting the fan.