Friday, March 25, 2011

Changing Mindsets

FYI- I love a good font. In fact, I border on obsessive with handwriting fonts. I guess because I want this blog to be somewhat of a journal, I think the handwriting font makes this feel a little bit more “me.”

Since I’ve been back, I’ve been so busy. Getting into my first full week of work in FOUR weeks is harder than it would seem. And on top of my 8-5 schedule, with 2 hours of commute time each day, nightly workouts and cooking dinner…I feel flat out exhausted. Tomorrow will be my first day in awhile to sleep in, and sleep in I will. Having a good lazy Saturday is one of my favorite things- French Press coffee, a book, and my porch are three things that make me a happy girl. Stephen King’s “On Writing” is sitting on my coffee table, waiting to be picked up.

Since I’ve been home, I’ve been noticing different things about how I’m interacting with people. I feel like my relationships are still the same, but the way I feel is a little bit different…and I can’t quite put my finger on why. I feel quieter and more at peace, but the same characteristics in people that used to irk me, still irk me. I had hoped I would come back generally more accepting of people, but alas- I’m still the same (and trust me, I know there are some things I need to change- for the benefit of everyone). I’m valuing the feeling of wanting to be quiet, because I’m sure it’ll pass just as quickly as it came.

Each time I leave, I learn to be a little bit more un-attached to the idea of “home” and routine (which for now is a good thing). I have learned to cling less to what I perceive as “normal” or “right.” I think (well I hope) traveling gives you more of an open mind when it comes to people, structure, culture, food, and just life. When you travel, you can’t be picky about food, activities, or time spent out and about (because at least in the Middle East, we’d have days that started at 5am and would go until midnight). If you stress about small things, and truly value your routine- you’ll be miserable.

The helpful thing about going places is that I come home and really try to incorporate that mindset into my everyday life. It’s not always easy because things are always demanding our attention, but I think it’s important regardless. So the unraveling of my heart from the Middle East begins. 

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