Friday, March 14, 2014

Pregnancy and Life Snapshots

{and all thats in between}

Week 16, 18, and 20

Week 25, 27, and 29

Our first baby shower invitation

Girls, let's be honest. Maternity clothes are incredibly unattractive. I have desperately tried to save my budget for summery post-baby things, and to make my outfits work with what is in my closet. Obviously, this can only go on for so long as you start to realize you're stretching out all your favorite shirts, so I've had to humbly give in a little bit in that department. 

Here is a small glimpse into the types of things I've been wearing day-to-day - hopefully maintaining a little bit of 'me' despite my ever-expanding everything else. 

And now for the {and all thats in between}:

Pregnancy is something that I wanted to wear proudly and happily. I wanted it to feel right and perfect. I wanted to glow. And we had tried for so long that I thought I would be overwhelmingly ecstatic about the whole experience. And I am incredibly happy, and thrilled to be growing our little family. But I wasn't prepared for the onslaught of emotion I would feel once that dream became a reality, or how insecure I would feel with each passing week.

And in all fairness, I think I've had it pretty easy. I've been tired, uncomfortable sleeping, and have become less agile with each day. But those are all normal pregnancy effects, and to be honest, they're all fairly easily managed (despite my uncontrollable anxiety and continual tears). 

But the things I haven't been prepared for: knowing that my life will forever be tied to this precious child. Obviously that is a beautiful and great thing, but so incredibly scary. For the last 28 years, I've gotten to do what I've wanted to do. Chase the dreams that I've had for myself, choose the people I spend my time around, and go where I've wanted to go. And I know that I will still be me on the other side, but I know that I'll be releasing a lot of my freedom and control with this baby. 

I'm also overwhelmed by the fact that I alone can bring this baby into the world. Pregnancy, labor, delivery, and nursing are all things that only I can take on. But I'm being entrusted with a precious heart that grows so close to mine that I can sense her every move. And despite my insecurity (and unwillingness to admit how awkward and scared I feel), God will bring her into this world, perfect and whole. Loved from before she was even conceived. Perfectly planned and appointed for her to join Patrick and I in this world for the rest of our lives. I'm trusting those around me when they say that this exchange of freedom and body image and control are more than worth it once we meet our sweet little one in May. But until then, I'm just dying for a glass of wine.

  {the other pieces of my life}  

{and because you I need to laugh}

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