Pregnancy and Life Snapshots

{and all thats in between}

Week 16, 18, and 20

Week 25, 27, and 29

Our first baby shower invitation

Girls, let's be honest. Maternity clothes are incredibly unattractive. I have desperately tried to save my budget for summery post-baby things, and to make my outfits work with what is in my closet. Obviously, this can only go on for so long as you start to realize you're stretching out all your favorite shirts, so I've had to humbly give in a little bit in that department. 

Here is a small glimpse into the types of things I've been wearing day-to-day - hopefully maintaining a little bit of 'me' despite my ever-expanding everything else. 

And now for the {and all thats in between}:

Pregnancy is something that I wanted to wear proudly and happily. I wanted it to feel right and perfect. I wanted to glow. And we had tried for so long that I thought I would be overwhelmingly ecstatic about the whole experience. And I am incredibly happy, and thrilled to be growing our little family. But I wasn't prepared for the onslaught of emotion I would feel once that dream became a reality, or how insecure I would feel with each passing week.

And in all fairness, I think I've had it pretty easy. I've been tired, uncomfortable sleeping, and have become less agile with each day. But those are all normal pregnancy effects, and to be honest, they're all fairly easily managed (despite my uncontrollable anxiety and continual tears). 

But the things I haven't been prepared for: knowing that my life will forever be tied to this precious child. Obviously that is a beautiful and great thing, but so incredibly scary. For the last 28 years, I've gotten to do what I've wanted to do. Chase the dreams that I've had for myself, choose the people I spend my time around, and go where I've wanted to go. And I know that I will still be me on the other side, but I know that I'll be releasing a lot of my freedom and control with this baby. 

I'm also overwhelmed by the fact that I alone can bring this baby into the world. Pregnancy, labor, delivery, and nursing are all things that only I can take on. But I'm being entrusted with a precious heart that grows so close to mine that I can sense her every move. And despite my insecurity (and unwillingness to admit how awkward and scared I feel), God will bring her into this world, perfect and whole. Loved from before she was even conceived. Perfectly planned and appointed for her to join Patrick and I in this world for the rest of our lives. I'm trusting those around me when they say that this exchange of freedom and body image and control are more than worth it once we meet our sweet little one in May. But until then, I'm just dying for a glass of wine.

  {the other pieces of my life}  

{and because you I need to laugh}

Winter Wonderland

The past few weeks have been filled with visiting friends, a trip to Colorado, the gender reveal of our sweet baby, and the terrible 'Snowpocalypse' of Atlanta. All have been grand adventures that left us feeling full and loved on from coast to coast.

And Lucy is particularly excited about her little sister. 

The ONLY nursery planning I've done - decided on prints for the wall. And for some reason this is way more fun and interesting to me than registering for a mound of supplies that I've never heard of. So I'll continue to decorate with the help of Cam and Katie, who have selflessly devoted time on Pinterest on my behalf (while I lament the difficulty of putting on socks and keeping a slim figure). Bless them. 

This was an event hosted by a lovely co-worker on the impact technology was having on her life. She devoted months to being more intentional offline, and put this fabulous event together to showcase her work. 

Baby West on the left, surely being bright-eyed as usual.

THE BEAUTIFUL VAIL, COLORADO

full of lattes, family, friends, snow, hot tubs, and massages

#SNOWPOCALYPSE

Last night, after 5+ hours in the car, one minor accident, LOTS of Facebooking, over-flowing tears, and only increasing traffic and ice, I made the brave decision to go to Susan's house. Susan lives 1/4 of a mile from my office if that is any indication of how far I made it in said 5+ hours. #epicfail Susan was SO gracious to open up her home to me, and she made me a wonderful dinner and let me rant to the moon and back about my afternoon. Poor Susan always catches me after these traumatic vehicular episodes. I owe her...BIG.

To spend the night, both Liz and I ended up at our friend's Jonathan and Abbey's and it was actually really fun. They cooked us a grand breakfast, made lots of coffee, supplied us with anything from socks and toothbrushes to sweatshirts and deodorant. We listened to music, watched the news, caught up on life events, and compared afternoon horror stories. You guys, we have the best friends. Seriously.

And I would say that adult sleepovers don't happen often enough, but I'm pretty sure the last one I had was on Sunday. Sooooo scratch that. ;)

You are powerful

On a daily basis I find myself surrounded by two kinds of people: powerful and powerless. And until I started reading 'Keep Your Love On' by Danny Silk, I had no idea how these two tendencies wove themselves into my daily life. 

powerful: /ˈpou(-ə)rfəl/

Powerful people consciously and deliberately create an environment around them in which they want to live. They don't try to get people to respect them; they create a respectful environment by showing respect. They take responsibility for their choices. They choose who they want to be with, what they are going to pursue, and how they are going to go after it. The only people that can get close to them are those who know how to show respect, be responsible, and love well. 

powerless: /'pou(-ə)rləs/

A powerless person is someone who blames their messes on someone else. The reason their life is the way that it is has nothing to do with them. They need other people to protect them, make them happy, and take responsibility for their lives. At the end of the day, they are a victim to the world around them.

I read the details of each of these types of people, and can clearly point to times in my life where I've been one or the other. Where I've depended on other people for my happiness, or where I've only felt included and significant in a relationship if I was in control. A lot of that powerlessness was rooted in deep unhappiness, but it was unhappiness that I did not want to take responsibility for. I didn't want to face it or figure out why I was unhappy. I just was. And it wasn't my fault. So those around me just needed to understand and find ways to keep me happy. Looking back, I know that me feeling powerless created a strong anxiety-filled and controlling environment around me. Not an environment that people were drawn into and wanted to be a part of. In fact, in my attempts to enlist other's support around me, I was actually creating the opposite effect and pushing people away. 

But as I've gotten healthier over the last year or two, I've started seeing that only we can change our own lives. If we are unhappy, we don't actually have to stay unhappy. We can make changes. We can adjust our surroundings, our hobbies, the books we read, the people we spend time with. You are never stuck. If someone confronts you with something, why not take a step back and really think about it before assuming that they don't know what they're talking about. Me getting healthier stemmed from more than one person bringing things to my attention that hurt my feelings or made me feel inadequate. But those were things that pushed me to want to start trying and to make an effort to do better. Because until we know we are actively doing something about it, we will refuse to take responsibility, and assume that our insecurity and inadequacy is someone else's fault. Which perpetuates the cycle of powerlessness.

Being intentional with ourselves and our confidence actually invites people in. And it invites people in for the right reasons, and for the right type of relationship. Not one that has an element of control or manipulation or fear, but one that is strong because two powerful people who know who they are are coming together to be vulnerable, honest about their feelings, steadfast in their love, and loyal to the other.  Those are the types of relationships that are the most authentic and satisfying, and also life-changing. 

Pardot Love + Christmas #ftw

Days like these lead to...
Nights like this lead to
Love like ours.
You light the spark in my bonfire heart.
People like us—we don’t
Need that much, just some-
One that starts,
Starts the spark in our bonfire hearts

James Blunt - Bonfire Heart

Let's be intentional.

Nobody can go back and start a new beginning, but anyone can start today and make a new ending. Maria Robinson

Everyone always starts the new year with such zeal to do things better. To be kinder or make healthier choices. And its probably important that we re-visit those intentions before the year's end. Rather than waiting to re-evaluate when we can do nothing about it. 

And in all honesty, I don't actually make any New Year's resolutions. I have things that I want to be mindful of or more intentional about, but rarely do I write down some hard and fast action items. Which Patrick some would argue that I would never actually do the things that aren't 'actionable', but that's not true for me. And you have Marcy to thank for that. 

My one original "intention" for this past year has been this:

What you allow is what will continue. If you allow someone to talk to you in a way that hurts you, that's your fault. You have the capacity to stand up for yourself and dictate what atmosphere you allow to exist around you. Does that mean that those conversations with others are always received warmly? Of course not. They most often times aren't. BUT, its in the standing up for yourself that you put a separation between what you value and what you don't. You're putting a stake in the ground and declaring to the world who you are and will be. This is hard. But it also removes any opportunity for you to see yourself as a victim to your surroundings, and that, my friends, is powerful. 

This article also has proved to be a killer motivator for me. However, it's moreso a list of things to stop doing. But my favorites are (with commentary from the author):

Stop putting your own needs on the back burner. - The most painful thing is losing yourself in the process of loving someone too much, forgetting that you are special too. Yes, help others; but help yourself too. If there was ever a moment to follow your passion and do something that matters to you, that moment is now.  

Stop blaming others for your troubles. - The extent to which you can achieve your dreams depends on the extent to which you take responsibility for your life. When you blame others for what you're going through, you deny responsibility - you give others power over that part of your life.  

Stop running from your problems. - Face them head on. No, that won't be easy. There is no person in the world capable of flawlessly handling every punch thrown at them. We aren't supposed to be able to instantly solve problems. That's not how we're made. In fact, we're made to get upset, sad, hurt, stumble and fall. Because that's the whole purpose of living - to face problems, learn, adapt, and solve them over the course of time. This is what ultimately molds us into the person we become.  

Stop exclusively looking to others for happiness. - If you're not happy with who you are on the inside, you won't be happy in a long-term relationship with anyone else either. You have to create stability in your own life first before you can share it with someone else. 

So let's be more intentional with ourselves this year. Do hard things if they're good for you, and know that we are powerful and wonderful people. Be blessed my friends. Much love to you.

My love waits there in San Francisco

This past week was spent in the stunning city of San Francisco (thanks to Marc Benioff). Getting to explore San Francisco with some of your best friends is one of the greatest privileges I could ever ask for. I'd bore you with the details, but the pictures are going to be better than any writing could ever express. Enjoy!

Hawk Hill // Golden Gate Bridge // Crissy Field // Sausalito // Blue Bottle Coffee // Full House house // Ferry Building farmer's market // Painted Ladies // Pier 39 // Dolores Park

I left my heart in San Francisco

High on a hill, it calls to me

To be where little cable cars climb halfway to the stars

The morning fog may chill the air, I don't care

My love waits there in San Francisco

Above the blue and windy sea

When I come home to you, San Francisco

Your golden sun will shine for me

- Tony Bennett

Beauty Products and My 3 Favorite Ways to Save on Them

Almost a year ago, I had the blunt realization that I hadn't changed my make-up regiment in years. I just assumed that what worked at one point for my skin was always going to work. Now, I don't know that what I was doing was bad. But there were still things about my skin and make-up that I didn't love, and that I didn't realize I could very easily improve upon. 

So thus began the journey of hours in Sephora, month after month of Birchbox (oh, the torture), and reading about great products for different types of skin. I don't know that what I've found is perfect, but I promise you this, I feel 100 times better about my skin and what it wears every day. Here are some of my faves that I've found over the last few months:

1. Smashbox Photo Finish Primer: This goes over your moisturizer, but under your make-up. It's a primer that is oil free, and keeps a barrier between your make-up and your skin. It also creates a really smooth surface for your make-up. The great thing about this is that it comes in a sample size, so you can try it for a few weeks (yes, it's a generous sample size) and see how you like it. 

2. Smashbox Color Correcting Primer: My skin has a ton of red in it, and gets splotchy in the worst places (not that beautiful cheek flush that I have always hoped I'd have). This color correcting primer removes all the redness from your skin. It made me look a little bit ghostly at first, but once you add your make-up on top of it, you'd never know. This is not oil free, so I have to be careful with the season that I wear it in, but winter tends to be pretty safe for non oil free products, and its also the time of year that my face wears its redness like a badge. This also comes in a sample size.

3. Put a Lid on it Eyelid Primer: My eyelids are one of the most oily parts of my skin, and this primer is THE BOMB. With this, my eyeshadow never creases, and it stays put for hours. I've been using this Birchbox sample for weeks because you only need such a small amount on each eyelid. 

4. they're REAL mascara by Benefit: This came in a sample bag I got from Sephora, and I went out the next day and bought the full size. It was that good. It looked like I had an eyelash primer on, and had used several coats of mascara after only one swipe of the wand. If you're not a big make-up wearer, but still want to look bright and alert, this should be at the top of your list. Go to Ulta or Sephora and try it out. You will never be the same.

5. Maybelline Radiant concealer: I use this under my eyes. Its really cheap, I get it from Target, and it brightens my eyes with just a touch of shimmer. Easy peasy.

6. MAC's Plumful lip stick: I went into MAC the other day to recycle a couple of my used make-up containers. When you trade in 6 old containers (blush, powder, eyeshadow, etc.) you get a free lipstick. I told the worker that I wanted red, but I have a lot of red in my skin, so I didn't want something that clashes. But I did want something bold. So I came away with this. It is red, but with more of a raspberry tint, and I love it. I put it on and knew that it was the right one for me. 

7. Stila BB Cream: This is a great color correcting beauty balm. I had gotten a sample of a Stila CC Cream that I liked, but wanted a little more coverage, and wanted it to look a little less obvious on my skin. So I spent some time in Ulta, trying on tons of different BB and CC creams, and came away with this one as my favorite. Its really light, but provides great coverage. Its also oil free and really helps reduce the redness in my skin. 

8. ELF lip stain in Rich Red: This is definitely a red lipstick (see below). And it stays on for hours, and doesn't even come off on drinking glasses. It was a bold choice, but for $3, I had to try it. And I get so many compliments on it. Target really comes thru with their ELF collection. 

So, if you're like me, you want to know 'How do I try different products without breaking the bank?' And that, I actually have an answer to. Here are three ways to get a lot for your money in terms of beauty products:

1. MAC's recycle program: for every 6 used containers you bring in, you get a free lipstick or gloss. For someone like me who has used MAC for years, I have tons of blushes, eye shadows, powders, etc. that I used most of but never finished. Either I bought it for a summer that I was really tan, or I used enough of it to just buy a new and fresh one. And at the end of the day, you only need a few great lipsticks. So this is easy, especially if you're already buying the products. 

2. Points: When you buy products from Sephora, Ulta or Birchbox, you get points for every purchase. I've found that at Birchbox, this pays off really well. With every Birchbox purchase, you get a certain amount of points added to your account. So when you get a sample in the mail that you love, you can usually buy the full-sized product for nothing by cashing in your points. I got this detangler for free, and refill my sample bottle to travel with. *This really pays off when you buy gifts for others as well (consider the holidays to give the women in your life some new make-up products, and earn extra points around Christmas to buy some things for you too!)

3. Gift packs: Places like Sephora offer a variety of free samples when you buy something full-sized. I had tried the Smashbox primer a few months ago, and had been meaning to swing into the store to pick up the full-sized bottle. Online one day I saw that if you spent $25, you could pick one of four gift bags with a bunch of samples. So I got to pick the gift bag that I wanted, which included a perfume, mascara, eyelash topcoat, a CC cream, and a few other items. The samples also came with a make-up bag as well:

So as you can see, you definitely don't have to break the bank. But it does take a little bit of time to earn points for buying/doing different things, but I've gotten to try at least 50 products that I didn't buy, just by using one of the 3 tips listed above. 

So enjoy your holiday season, and don't be afraid to break out of your old routine! It might pay off more than you expect. 

Happy shopping!